Whoa Whoa Whoa!?

I think its been two or three weeks since i even vistited this website.
I'm pretty sure i would'nt be able to catch anyone up with what's been going on.
You would have to be someone that's been in my life for
awhile to understand my thought process at the moment.


Lifes been a rollarcoaster of happy smiles, and tears full of sorrow.
I must say it's an exciting adventure I'm on.
I never know what's really going to come my way next.


I've always wondered. What exactly leads me to forgetting how my prioreties need to be orderd? I keep playing the switching game.

God.Friends.Boys. Family. School.
Friends. God. Faimly. Boys. School.
Friends. Boys.God.Family. School.
School. Family. Friends.God. Boys.

It's become quite confusing. But recently ive come to an understanding of where I'm at. Here's the story:

This past friday i was slapped with some horrible news. My baby brother was in the hospital due to seven seizures within a four day period that led up to the one that put him in the hospital. I wasn't sure how exactly to react to the whole thing. Should i stay home and worry myself? Should i go be out with my friends ant let them soothe my soul? Should i just keep quiet about the whole thing? I mean i wouldn't want my friends to treat me differently, at all. Things with them had been great. Throwing that in would cause complications right?
Well i ended up going out with my friends. I knew i couldent just sit there and soak in my own thoughts. I've found out recently that my thoughts can slowly kill me. I ended up having a pretty great time. We just went to a movie and joked around a little. THen i went over to my friends house and he talked to me about alot of stuff. and let me tell you, that night when i came home, i felt like i had something towereing over me. Like a huge hand swooping down and grabbing me for safe keeping.

Guess what happened that night?
My priorties figured themselves out:
God. Friends/family.School. Boys.

Notice friends/family. That night my friends became my family. My sisters and brothers.

I knew exacly then that the feeling of steadyness, wasn't from my friends. It was from god. And that exact same hand was cradeling my baby brother in his hospital bed. My friends as well, have become my foundation to hold on to. But through them I am coming closer to someone so much bigger. Someone who loves me so passionately.

I guess all i am trying to say is i have HOPE. HOPE that god will do things that are best for me. HOPE that god will carry levi through this. Carry me and my family through this. HOPE that my family of friends never leave my side. Everything is going to be okay. I have god on my side, no matter what.

Everything is going to be okay.

I am free.





Oh! and guess what happened last night? my baby brother was released out of the hospital!