Love is....

Love is the sound of your baby brother singing you the abc’s. Love is the hugs you get from your mom on the way out the door. Love is the sunset god paints to greet you in the morning. Love is the pair wrapped in blankets on the rooftop on a cold night. Love is the worship music on Sunday mornings. Love is the gift of life. Love is the sound of your favorite musician playing on stage. Love is the feeling when wrapped in a big warm hug. Love is the smile after crying on someone’s shoulder. Love is the look I get from my best friend when he knows I’ve been day dreaming. Love is feeling on top of the world, and closer to heaven. Love is the sunset that comes after a hard day at work or school. Love is the feeling of being understood. Love is making macaroni and cheese for your best friend at three in the morning. Love is the beauty of a single blade of glass. Love is the grace of something old and worn. Love is the old photographs of your grandparents. Love is the smile you et from the stranger across the hall. Love is the little hand of a kid reaching for you. Love is the wisdom of an elder. Love is the words written down in that bible. Love is the start of a new beginning. Love is being re-born. Love is the whispers of words god sends to your soul. Love is knowing you have been redeemed. and the knowledge of a savior.

It's all around us, seeping through the cracks of abandoned houses, laced in the words of people around you, and dancing in the air of a winter morning. It's a gift. And it’s been given to us by an amazing and glorious god, that I love from the depths of my soul, and need to thank more and more every day.

Mixed up.

I often wonder what leads me to make the mistakes i do.

or what leads me to the state of confusion i put mself in.

Hmmmm.

This really gets me thinking!

Report.

I often think about how much we underestimate the power of god. "When he is silent he is working magic in our hearts." Silently placing thoughts and little whispers in your mind.

Yesterday Jeff gave a sermon during Highschool service that left me thinking. He asked us questions about how we live our life outside of church. What we see in our hearts when we look deep. What he said was humbling in a way. I'm constantly going to church, i wear that cross around my neck, and carry that bible around in my purse. I sat in my room for awhile and asked myself questions. I think what it all came down to was: Am I setting aside time outside my church life for god? Am I truely living my life for him and only him?

Truthfully? The answer to both these questions was not what I had hoped for. It was upsetting knowing what had happened had gone unnoticed for so long. Being so consumed in this world makes you blind to the things so much greater than it. Sure, I was living my life for God. He just was not the centeral focal point anymore. I think we all get a little sidetracked at times. We focus on all the wrong things.

What did i do about it? Well let's just say I had a long talk with the big man up stairs. I think I've come to an understanding in what im supposed to be doing and where I am supposed to be.


On another note this weekend was definately a good one:

Friday: Lauren and Cecily came over for awhile and watched movies. Tallia and Alex came over for a little bit and showed me this lovely video. Got a great nights sleep.

Saturday: Went out to lunch with my mom. We never get to talk anymore because of dang highschool. Then we went to a used book store and got some really good books. Went to a pottery painting thing. Next went to Chris' house to watch a movie and got to talk to him about some stuff. Then Ciara and Kristen came over to watch a movie followed my the lovely kevin

Sunday: Went to church. Went to a Nertz Party at chris' house that lasted the whole day. Im no good! Ten went home and taught my mom Nertz and she taught me SPIT! good game!

Update!!

Ive deleted most of the blogs i have wrote on here.
I feel like starting over. Going deeper into my thoughts.
Definately going to elaborate on how my summer went tomorrow after school!

Hume.

Well its friday and i leave tonight for liz's house. Then tomorrow night we are heading over to church and getting on a bus for 16 hour 17 hours. And you know what? I dont even care how long it takes to get there. Because im with some pretty amazing people!


I'm extatic. Recently I've been drifting away from the one who i call my king. Maybe this will be a huge oppurtunity to gain back what has been lost. God has been speaking to me through the words of my friends. Telling me to come back. I don't know why i have waited so long to actually listen. I guess I was being somewhat stubborn. I'm definately ready to get back on the tracks.


HUME LAKE HERE I COME!

im good.

Today started out rough. I was in a pretty bad mood in general. But i think im finally realizing what today could have been like if i would have let myself be happy.

I found out friday the new guy was coming in to speak. I was a bit hesitant to open my heart to what he really had to say. But as the service went on i found myself finding that connection i found with all the former youth pastors at cornerstone. It was refreshing. He reminded me of Ryan with his own sort fo twist. I guess every pastor has their own twist it seems. I was really suprised when the new guy called his dauhter up to sing. It was amazing. I'm really excited to see how the Maples family works in the ministry. They seem to have alot of enthusiasim and i definately can relate to that!



HUME IS IN 6 DAYS!?!??!


AKJSLASHKUASYHIUASHIUSY!


YEAH!

Whoa Whoa Whoa!?

I think its been two or three weeks since i even vistited this website.
I'm pretty sure i would'nt be able to catch anyone up with what's been going on.
You would have to be someone that's been in my life for
awhile to understand my thought process at the moment.


Lifes been a rollarcoaster of happy smiles, and tears full of sorrow.
I must say it's an exciting adventure I'm on.
I never know what's really going to come my way next.


I've always wondered. What exactly leads me to forgetting how my prioreties need to be orderd? I keep playing the switching game.

God.Friends.Boys. Family. School.
Friends. God. Faimly. Boys. School.
Friends. Boys.God.Family. School.
School. Family. Friends.God. Boys.

It's become quite confusing. But recently ive come to an understanding of where I'm at. Here's the story:

This past friday i was slapped with some horrible news. My baby brother was in the hospital due to seven seizures within a four day period that led up to the one that put him in the hospital. I wasn't sure how exactly to react to the whole thing. Should i stay home and worry myself? Should i go be out with my friends ant let them soothe my soul? Should i just keep quiet about the whole thing? I mean i wouldn't want my friends to treat me differently, at all. Things with them had been great. Throwing that in would cause complications right?
Well i ended up going out with my friends. I knew i couldent just sit there and soak in my own thoughts. I've found out recently that my thoughts can slowly kill me. I ended up having a pretty great time. We just went to a movie and joked around a little. THen i went over to my friends house and he talked to me about alot of stuff. and let me tell you, that night when i came home, i felt like i had something towereing over me. Like a huge hand swooping down and grabbing me for safe keeping.

Guess what happened that night?
My priorties figured themselves out:
God. Friends/family.School. Boys.

Notice friends/family. That night my friends became my family. My sisters and brothers.

I knew exacly then that the feeling of steadyness, wasn't from my friends. It was from god. And that exact same hand was cradeling my baby brother in his hospital bed. My friends as well, have become my foundation to hold on to. But through them I am coming closer to someone so much bigger. Someone who loves me so passionately.

I guess all i am trying to say is i have HOPE. HOPE that god will do things that are best for me. HOPE that god will carry levi through this. Carry me and my family through this. HOPE that my family of friends never leave my side. Everything is going to be okay. I have god on my side, no matter what.

Everything is going to be okay.

I am free.





Oh! and guess what happened last night? my baby brother was released out of the hospital!

tonight

was amazing.

i love crissy. She definatley does not act her age. She acts older.

We ate bingsoo and Boba. talked about asians. Straightened my hair. Ate cheese products. Took millions of pictures. Enjoyed a nice fire. Burned our secrets. Talked about music. Listened to African queen millions of times. Sat by a "lake". Drank Koolade. Did stoopid stuff like that. It was fun.




I think i wanna marry the asian kid who works at Fresco. mmmmmm.

Reasons to marry fresco teenage asian.

1. He's Asian.
2. He works at fresco.
3.He's Asian.
4. He's older.
5. He's Asian.
6. Did i mention he's Asian?
7. Oh yeah, he's also Asian.
8. my mom wants me to Marry an Asian.

i think i have a thing for asians.
i shall marry!

Thoughts.

I'm not exactly sure what i'm doing here, writing this.
But i think in a way it will help me figure myself out. How my mind works.
POssibly this will do absolutely nothing and i'm wasting my time?
I guess we shall see. I've tried keeping a journal, but i cant seem to keep up with it.
A very amazing person inspired me to start one of these.

Maybe you know him? This is his blog.


I can hear the steady breathing of a sleeping Nikki behind me. It's amazing, how two people can go from hating each other so much, to absolutely loving. We spent the night with my dearest friend jessica, at the movies and going for ice cream. Through out the whole night i kept thinking about how something as simple as being with my friends can put that feeling of joy in my heart.

Have you ever wondered about connections?
My minds been full of wondering. How we are all connected, like a strand of pearls.
No matter how far apart the two pearls are they are still on the same peaice of string(or whatever it is). Our hearts are affected by others.

We all have different purposes in life. Yet our hearts and our bodys work in the same way. We all feel euphoria. and pain. we laugh and we cry for all different reasons. It's one of thoes things where you have to take a step back and admire the whole thing....because we are all just creations, made by someone so much more amazing than us, we were made to connect, and to LOVE unconditionally. And thats exactly what me and my friends are trying to do. Show the world what we were really put on this planet to do.